Believe it or not, there is one thing that scares many men more than hell: that is to approach a beautiful woman.
Why is that the case? What can a beautiful woman possibly do to an approaching man? Rip his head off? Not likely.
But I understand it. I once was there myself.
It is a fundamental fear of rejection that dominates here. An attractive woman has lots of power. Everybody is polite to her, wants to get her drinks, wants to be with her. She is a status symbol. An indication of personal power. And she knows that. But the power she has over you, is only the power that you give her.
Besides the fear of rejection, what frustrates most men additionally is also an inhibitory approach anxiety.
What actually is approach anxiety? It is a fear that is implanted in you by society.
Scientific research proves, that the only thing, that a newborn baby is afraid of are loud noises and free falling. Everything else is induced by the outside world. The environment. It’s important to realize that. The fear has no foundation.
“Approach anxiety is a fear that is implanted in you by society”
The bad news is: there is nothing you can read or revolve in your mind that would make the fear of rejection or approach anxiety disappear. Like to the most fears that are blocking you, there is only one way to overcome them: by facing repeatedly what you fear.
Repeating over and over again what you fear, and realizing, that there in fact is nothing to fear about, is the only way to make that fear go away.
I know. You don’t like that. I didn’t myself.
The good news is: it takes only 25 approaches to conquer this fear. So I suggest that you start right away!
Since you now know how to get what you wish for, I’d like to give you some insights on how to get this issue done right from the beginning.
Ok, so lets start with the 5 secrets on approaching a beautiful woman:
1. Make 3 fast approaches for warm-up
Look for 3 girls that you like and are comfortable with and ask them something. No matter what. Ask for the way, the time, a place to go out since you’re new in town, the next cool bar, etc. Be creative!
You don’t have to get into a conversation, but if it happens don’t fight it. The goal is to get into a “approaching mood” and most important, to get comfortable with the idea of talking to women. You will learn that it’s ok and that nothing terrible will happen. This will remove a lot of tension from you and believe me, your next approaches will be much much easier.
2. Detach yourself completely from the outcome
This is very important.
Don’t have expectations!
See it as a game. Be playful. You’re there to learn and the only thing you want to get out of this is experience. If you get a number or e-mail in the end that’s great. But don’t expect anything. Should you get rejected, so what? No big deal. Just move on.
3. Pay attention to your body language
Would you believe me when I say, that your body language is affecting the outcome of the approach itself? That means, that even before you reach the person, she might have already decided whether she will reject you or not.
Watch you body posture. This subconsciously sends a signal of confidence and that you know what you’re doing. This also increases your attraction many times over.
4. Forget all pickup-lines you’ve ever heard
Trust me, they won’t work. You don’t need them.
The truth is, what you say only matters less than 6%. You communicate the rest through other ways. Like the tone of your voice and mainly through your body language.
“The truth is, what you say only matters less than 6%”
Later on, when you have more experience, you can do more sophisticated approaches. I’ll cover this another time.
5. Have a story prepared
Let the conversation flow naturally. Talk to the girl like you talk to your best friend. The more natural you are, the better. Don’t compliment her to much, again, be playful and cocky. Speak slowly and keep your voice tone low.
What happens now to newbies very often is that they’re having trouble to maintain the conversation. They get stuck, since they can not remember any topic to speak about. Or they ask too many questions, which is also not helpful to get the conversation going.
It helps to have some kind of a story prepared. If nothing interesting ever happened to you, you can make one up. Tell how your best friend almost died on your last mountain hiking tour, or how you saved your cat from being washed in the washing machine.
It really doesn’t matter what the story is about. What matters is how you are telling it. It has to be told in an interesting and dramatic way. She has to be sucked into that story, watching your lips, couldn’t await how it ends.
Can you do that? I bet you can. If not, practice!
From now on you have several options. You can ask for her number/e-mail, change the location with her, or simply move on. The point is to collect as much experience as you can with approaching women. You must get comfortable with it. If you really are, then there is nothing that can hold you back any more.
The world is yours.
But I understand it. I once was there myself.
It is a fundamental fear of rejection that dominates here. An attractive woman has lots of power. Everybody is polite to her, wants to get her drinks, wants to be with her. She is a status symbol. An indication of personal power. And she knows that. But the power she has over you, is only the power that you give her.
Besides the fear of rejection, what frustrates most men additionally is also an inhibitory approach anxiety.
What actually is approach anxiety? It is a fear that is implanted in you by society.
Scientific research proves, that the only thing, that a newborn baby is afraid of are loud noises and free falling. Everything else is induced by the outside world. The environment. It’s important to realize that. The fear has no foundation.
“Approach anxiety is a fear that is implanted in you by society”
The bad news is: there is nothing you can read or revolve in your mind that would make the fear of rejection or approach anxiety disappear. Like to the most fears that are blocking you, there is only one way to overcome them: by facing repeatedly what you fear.
Repeating over and over again what you fear, and realizing, that there in fact is nothing to fear about, is the only way to make that fear go away.
I know. You don’t like that. I didn’t myself.
The good news is: it takes only 25 approaches to conquer this fear. So I suggest that you start right away!
Since you now know how to get what you wish for, I’d like to give you some insights on how to get this issue done right from the beginning.
Ok, so lets start with the 5 secrets on approaching a beautiful woman:
1. Make 3 fast approaches for warm-up
Look for 3 girls that you like and are comfortable with and ask them something. No matter what. Ask for the way, the time, a place to go out since you’re new in town, the next cool bar, etc. Be creative!
You don’t have to get into a conversation, but if it happens don’t fight it. The goal is to get into a “approaching mood” and most important, to get comfortable with the idea of talking to women. You will learn that it’s ok and that nothing terrible will happen. This will remove a lot of tension from you and believe me, your next approaches will be much much easier.
2. Detach yourself completely from the outcome
This is very important.
Don’t have expectations!
In order to make progress and get beyond your fears, I want you to have no expectations whatsoever regarding the approach. No matter what she says or does, I want your life to go on the same way. Don’t have expectations!
See it as a game. Be playful. You’re there to learn and the only thing you want to get out of this is experience. If you get a number or e-mail in the end that’s great. But don’t expect anything. Should you get rejected, so what? No big deal. Just move on.
3. Pay attention to your body language
Would you believe me when I say, that your body language is affecting the outcome of the approach itself? That means, that even before you reach the person, she might have already decided whether she will reject you or not.
Watch you body posture. This subconsciously sends a signal of confidence and that you know what you’re doing. This also increases your attraction many times over.
- keep your head high, slightly above the horizontal line
- imagine an invisible string tied to your chest, lifting you straight up
- always lead from your hips when your are walking
- during the conversation never lean physically in, always lean back
- sit and stand always in the most comfortable position. As you were at home. Lean at a wall, put a leg on the chair, use a chair like a sofa, etc.
- watch your hands. Don’t hang on your glass. Put one hand into your pocket and leave the other one free
- don’t try to look cool (if you are, you will). Have a slight smile always.
4. Forget all pickup-lines you’ve ever heard
Trust me, they won’t work. You don’t need them.
The truth is, what you say only matters less than 6%. You communicate the rest through other ways. Like the tone of your voice and mainly through your body language.
“The truth is, what you say only matters less than 6%”
Maintain strong eye-contact during the approach, watch your body language, put on your biggest smile and just say “hi”.
Later on, when you have more experience, you can do more sophisticated approaches. I’ll cover this another time.
5. Have a story prepared
Let the conversation flow naturally. Talk to the girl like you talk to your best friend. The more natural you are, the better. Don’t compliment her to much, again, be playful and cocky. Speak slowly and keep your voice tone low.
What happens now to newbies very often is that they’re having trouble to maintain the conversation. They get stuck, since they can not remember any topic to speak about. Or they ask too many questions, which is also not helpful to get the conversation going.
It helps to have some kind of a story prepared. If nothing interesting ever happened to you, you can make one up. Tell how your best friend almost died on your last mountain hiking tour, or how you saved your cat from being washed in the washing machine.
It really doesn’t matter what the story is about. What matters is how you are telling it. It has to be told in an interesting and dramatic way. She has to be sucked into that story, watching your lips, couldn’t await how it ends.
Can you do that? I bet you can. If not, practice!
From now on you have several options. You can ask for her number/e-mail, change the location with her, or simply move on. The point is to collect as much experience as you can with approaching women. You must get comfortable with it. If you really are, then there is nothing that can hold you back any more.
The world is yours.
0 comments: